A Light Has Dawned

  I can’t believe how much time has passed since I last wrote here. It is a New Year, 2015! I am still serving in Malawi, Africa and pursuing His call to reach out to a world in need…but today I had the thought, “Am I really?” If you were to ask me about my time in Malawi and my ministry here, my automatic reply would be about the amazing grace and wonderful miracles God has shown me. Sounds great on paper. In April of last year, I came face to face with death and God in His infinite wisdom and grace, for reasons I will never comprehend, saved me. In an unusual way, however, I feel I have been living in the shadow of death. Even though God has rescued me from death, broken my heart for a dying world,  sparked my adventurous spirit, and brought me through extreme adversity here in Malawi, my “almost death” still ignites fear in my heart.

What am I doing with my miraculous recovery and all that I am experiencing? Am I just content to quietly observe God at work? Honestly, yes I have been. I have become comfortable with sitting back and letting others pursue the mission, while I just take part from the sidelines. I think after being the center of a whirlwind of tragedy and part of miraculous healing and journey of prayer that brought so many together, I am almost lost on what comes next. How do I use what God has done in my life to bring others to Him? It’s almost like I am in a darkness that has blurred my vision. Quite literally, my vision is still blurred in parts, but more importantly, spiritually darkened. Yes, I am involved in what God is doing, and serving Him here. But in my heart, I am still confused. Who am I that He is mindful of me?



I think, I am partially doing what God is asking, but I am no longer totally surrendered and trusting Him. I am content to slip into a comfortable normal existence. Where is the fire that brought me to Africa in the first place? Where is that heart cry in my soul that longed solely for Him? My light is dim, still shining, but dimmed amidst the desire for security and steadiness that has bound me.

The scary part is that I’ve just let it take hold of me. I haven’t questioned why my fire is waning and my faith is shaking. I haven’t fought against this crippling fear of the unknown, the fear of death, the fear of what’s next. Instead of giving it to God, I have decided to live in a way that is safe- a safe and comfortable life. The thought of living in a village in some remote country no longer brings a light to my eyes. I used to feel a leap at the thought at adventuring into the unknown, now I feel a hesitancy and fear. I am sickened with what I have become. How have I let tragedy and adversity cripple my faith and dictate my walk with Christ?

I have just come to realize that this is not at all what I ever would have wanted or imagined to happen. I want to overcome and push past this fear. I want to live a life sold out to Christ- a life where I find joy in trials, and stand strong in the face of misfortune. Rather than focusing on what I can’t do, why don’t I focus on what God has given me to do? Instead of looking at what God hasn’t done yet, why don’t I focus on what he has done? I want to bring glory to His name through all of my actions and speech. I want to be more focused on who He is than who I am. Most importantly, I don’t want to hide the light of God’s amazing power in my life. I want a fire to be set down in my soul, one I can’t contain and I can’t control. I want more of God, I want more of Him. No longer do I want fear to hold me back…the light has dawned.
  “The people walking in darkness have seen a great light on those living in the land of the shadow of death A LIGHT HAS DAWNED…” Isaiah 9

 “You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light sine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”

Matthew 5:14

His Grace is Sufficient for Me.

Wow. I am back in Malawi. Who could’ve imagined that a mere five months after my life-threatening accident, I’d be back teaching and ministering in Africa? The only explanation is Christ. There is no way I should or could be here without Him. His grace is sufficient for me.

Since I’ve returned, God has already been working in my heart and showing me new things. The day I returned to ABC Academy will probably always hold an unforgettable place in my heart. Having a school full of children and a staff excitedly greet and welcome you and feel so supported and loved, is truly a blessing I do not deserve. A sense of closure and yet also a renewal filled my heart that day.

It didn’t stop there. From going back to Flood Church to sitting with the doctor who was a part of saving my life and his family, God has shown His love in so many ways.

Another key moment was arriving at Children of the Nations. Aggrey and Telina, who are mother and father of the home, were in the front seat of the bus. Not to mention, all those children were a part of this experience. Stepping foot in the Children of the Nations home was beautiful. I love those kids and that has only increased since the crash. Returning that day was one of the peak points of my short life. I don’t know if life gets any sweeter than having thirty African children sing and dance “Welcome Home Auntie Dani”. Since I was young, my dream has been to work in Africa with orphan children and teaching. Realizing I am doing exactly what I am called to do was so fulfilling.

Through all of this, God is teaching me about His abundant grace. I owe Him my life. He is the only one who can turn terrible and heart wrenching situations and make them shine for His glory. It is only through Him that even in my weak and broken state, I have the capability to stand once again in Malawi.

On April 14^th, 2014 I made my last blog post from Malawi. Now begins another year of adventures and ministry. September 28^th, 2014 marks a healing and continuation of what God started. I will boast joyfully in my weakness; it is only then I can bring wonder to His name.

“But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.”

2 Corinthians 12:9

Not Finished Yet

Dear Friends and Family,


I return to Malawi, Africa tomorrow and will be standing on Malawian soil in a mere three days. It is still unbelievable how far God has brought me. Only a few short months ago I was lying unconscious in a hospital bed, and now here I am preparing to return and teach. This letter and post is for all of you who have supported, prayed, and walked with me through this incredibly difficult and miraculous journey and would like to continue with me; my story and ministry in Malawi did not end on April 15th, 2014.


This year I will be once again be working at ABC Academy and teaching a class of eighteen fourth graders. Outside of that, I am looking forward to working more consistently with the orphans and in the villages of Malawi. I am in no way the same person I was last August. This calling and mission has changed who I am and how I see the world. The burning desire to reach out has only escalated since my accident, and I want to help others be a part of impacting a different culture. Whether through pray (which is most important and the only reason I am even able to return), financial support, encouragement, or packages, I want to invite anyone to be involved. Every ounce of love and support is appreciated and needed. I want to ask that anyone who feels called will step out in faith with me and walk beside me this upcoming year.
Already, I have felt the surrounding arms from the church and people all across the world. When I arrive, I have backpacks to distribute from Grace Community Church, a projector to use from amazing and passionate Terry Broadwater (who has the privilege of watching from Heaven), and numerous notes, words, and donations from so many.


I want to open the door for all of you to be involved in the unbelievable mission God has set before me. Thank you to all who have been there for me this past year. Without all the prayers and support, I wouldn’t be here today. I am excited for the new adventure ahead and the opportunity to continue ministering in Malawi. I would ask that you would do at least one of these three things. First and most vital, I need prayer. Please keep me in your prayers, for safety, wisdom, and strength. Second, if you would like to help financially you can donate on the ABC site by following this link: http://www.abcchristianacademy.net/faculty/. Simply, find my name and follow the donation instructions. Lastly, if you would like to send care packages, gifts for students, or the orphans you can send anything to this address: African Bible College- Danielle Jenson PO Box 1028 | Area 47 Plot 530 | Lilongwe Malawi | South East Africa


Thank you again for your love, generosity, and prayers. God's work for me in Malawi is not finished yet. I look forward to sharing the stories of Christ to all of you!


                                    Love,
                                    Danielle

 

Left my fear by the side of the road

Almost four months ago my life was radically changed. Little did I know, that my last post on April 14th was to mark the beginning of a painful and unbelievable experience. The next day I was thrown from a mini-bus and expected to die on the road in Malawi, Africa. But God had different plans.

I sit here awed and speechless at the power and love of Christ. What should have brought tragedy and destruction has bloomed into new life and joy. I owe my life to Jesus and I am eternally grateful.

After the crash, as many of you know, I wasn't supposed to live. Flipping an estimated five times, I was ejected out the window and suffered a neck, back, and skull fracture. In addition, both my lungs were punctured and I had what is considered a traumatic brain injury. Not to mention, this happened in the small country of Malawi in the middle of nowhere. But even through all this, God had His hand over me. Ten months in Malawi without even a glimpse of an ambulance and two crest the hill minutes after the accident. In a country that contains only four ventilators, three were already in use. This left only one for me which was necessary for my survival. The mission organization of African Bible Colleges for whom I work, raised 50,000 dollars to airlift me to South Africa. I survived twenty-four hours in the rural country of Malawi, and even once transferred to South Africa, recovery was still unsure. I spent three weeks in a coma and had a tracheotomy. No one was sure what I would be like when I awoke. On May 6th I woke up confused but pain free. By May 7th I was walking and by May 21st I was able to fly home to Colorado. Ever since then I have been quickly recovering and regaining strength.

It brings tears to my eyes when I think how far God has brought me. A year ago I was an excited child, ready to embark on a journey to an unknown African adventure. It's astounding how the year has changed me. Though a part of me mourns the loss of the naïve, daring girl who boarded the plane, I know God has a greater purpose and a new adventure ahead. As I have become broken and helpless, dependent on Him, He has renewed my love, passion, and calling to a broken world.

With that, I want to make a surprising announcement that some may find questionable. I am returning this year to Malawi. After much though and prayer, I feel an unexplainable and unquenchable desire to return and continue the ministry set before me. My exact date of return is still unknown, and healing comes first. But encouraging news- my bones and punctured lungs are healing excellently, and more importantly my spirit is growing and thriving. I just received the all clear to return to Malawi! I will need support and prayers over the coming months. The ligaments and bone in my neck are still healing, but I will be back to America in December to check on the progress.

April 15th, 2014 has left me with one choice: faith or fear. I have chosen. I left my fear by the side of that Malawian road. I entrust my life to God.

"I left my fear by the side of the road, hear You speak and won't let go.
 Fall to my knees as I lift my hands to pray. Got every reason to be here again,
Father's heart that draws me in and all my eyes want to see is a glimpse of You.
All I need is You. All I need is you Lord, is you Lord."
                                                    ~Kim Walker ("All I Need is You" Hillsong United)

When ALL is Stripped Away

Nine Months. I’ve now been living in Malawi, Africa for nine months. The journey has been wonderful, amazing, life-changing, and difficult. Most of my posts have discussed the miracles, beauty, hardship, and culture I see all around me. Although all of this is important and impacting, I want to share a bit of what’s been going on inside me- my personal struggles here. As much as I love it here, I would be lying if I said it has been easy. I have grown immensely in the past nine months, and particularly in the past thirty days. I am going to take a big step and be vulnerable in this post.

 

Everything I depended on or put confidence in has been knocked from under me. Before coming here, I felt secure in who I was and what I was doing. I graduated with honors, excelled in my teaching experience, felt I had solid friendships, an amazing family, and I was headed to fulfill my life goal of teaching and spreading Christ in Africa. Not many people can say they reached their objective at 22. Little did I know what God had in store. I am separated from those I love, unable to rely on them, and everything has been slowly breaking. It started with my teaching ability…

My classroom management was suffering, my grading system was a mess, I was overwhelmed with the small class of fourteen students, and I was failing. Parents were upset, students felt hurt, and I was at a loss on how to fix it. My good intentions and pride in my own ability led me to a place of disappointment and disorder. I was wrong and had to figure out how to mend what I had broken.

 

Then to top it off, the friendships and relationships I have here and back home have been distant.

 

Skype is unpredictable, email is impersonal, and Facebook is just not enough. Not to mention, the time difference makes it almost impossible to connect regularly. Naturally, life in America is moving forward and I am not a part of it. Friends are getting married, graduating, starting their careers, and just doing life while I am thousands of miles away. I have felt very detached from home. The closer I come to returning, the harder it gets to wait and be patient. I felt my first waves of true homesickness in the past month.

My small security and community here at ABC has also been tested. Gossip and bitterness have severed relationships and brought distrust. It is very complex and thorny to have your professional and personal life cross and intertwine. Any mistake you make is open for public discussion. It is like living in a very, very small town. Although there are so many benefits (such as close relationships, a tight knit community, Bible studies, support, etc), the negative side is that people like to talk. In addition, illness has hit our campus. Malaria has been affecting those I am close to, and it is frightening. When I haven’t been teaching, I’ve been acting nurse.  

By the end of last week, I had nothing left to give, all my strength gone. I was running on minimal sleep, reevaluating my whole style and philosophy of teaching, dealing with homesickness, feeling isolated and confused, and beginning to question what in the world I was thinking when I jumped on a plane to Africa. Spring break could not have come at a better time.

Literally, everything I hope in has been stripped away. This weekend I have had to decide, what do I have when all else is gone? I have been broken down to the core. All I have is Christ. There is nothing else to uphold me. In Him I must trust, and in Him I must find my rest, joy, and peace. Though all else may be shaken, tumultuous, and a web of confusion, it is in His arms I can regain my vision.


I trust that He is still in control and ultimately, my purpose in serving Him here in Africa is still in place. I don’t think I can say it any better than Paul did in 2 Corinthians 4:7-18. God doesn’t place His glory in pretty, little packages of perfection. Instead, He delights in using broken jars of clay. He is the only one who can bring beauty out of ashes, and joy from pain.

^“But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. ⁸ We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; ⁹ persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. ¹⁰ We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. ¹¹ For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. ¹² So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

¹³ It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.” Since we have that same spirit of faith, we also believe and therefore speak ¹⁴ because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself. ¹⁵ All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.

¹⁶ Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ¹⁷ For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. ¹⁸ So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

Troubles come and go, but my foundation remains the same.

More than just a movie...

It is hard to believe that it’s already March. Only three and a half months until I am home! The closer it comes, the more eager I am. One of the things I’m most excited about is sharing the stories that I’ve witnessed here with all of you. Writing just cannot quite convey the depth of these experiences.

In the last couple weeks, I have felt less motivated and a little of a burn out. This isn’t a constant feeling, but I just have felt lacking in my abilities and purpose. Teaching is a very difficult profession- it is hard to always be giving and pouring out. But I think the biggest problem is that I find myself relying on what I can do and my knowledge. This will always eventually run out. The source of my strength should always come from Christ. Sometimes I get caught up with grading papers, writing lessons, and the never-ending list of tasks to complete. Yet it’s the simplest, smallest experiences that remind me of what is truly important.





The kids at Children of the Nations (COTN) are a testimony to what God is doing here in Malawi. The more time I spend there, the more I see God’s hand. One Saturday night three of us teachers here packed up a laptop, the Disney movie Frozen, popcorn, and cookies and headed to COTN. As usual, the kids were thrilled to see us. They always yell out “Auntie Dani!” and run with open arms towards us. Dinner was prepared for us; Malawian culture is very hospitable. They are eager to serve and make guests feel comfortable. Before beginning the movie, the kids participated in their nightly routine of singing praise songs and praying. I don’t know if there is anything more precious than listening to child, on their knees, praying to God.





After this, all the children gathered on the rug and scooted around our laptop screen. They were enthralled by the movie and loved the snacks we brought them! The language barrier made it difficult for them to understand the plot, but they didn’t care. However, sitting and watching the movie with them made me want to do more. How would they react if they could watch this on a big screen? How could we provide more for them? I kept thinking how amazing a projector would be in this situation. I mentioned this to my family, who discussed the idea with my church. Immediately, they offered to buy and send over a projector! I am in awe of how God works. My faith is so weak and my trust in him falters, yet still he provides. A movie may seem so insignificant to all of us who are blessed. Nonetheless, to these kids it is more than just a movie, but also an expression of love.





Since this experience, I have realized that I have limited God. If I do not ask, how can I ever receive? So, I am going to open the opportunity up to all of you to give. The COTN kids greatly need shoes, underwear, socks, and school supplies. Each of those thirty kids could use a backpack with supplies inside and a new pair of tennis shoes. There are about ten kids between the ages of 5-10, ten kids who are 10-12 years old, and ten kids that are 12-15. In addition to these, there are a hundred village children that come to our Thursday outreach in urgent need of shoes and school supplies.





On April 15^th, a crate will be sent over from Mississippi to ABC. On this can be placed any items I would need for the coming year. If any of you are willing to put together a small gift for one of these kids, now is the time! It is much cheaper and easier to send a box to Mississippi than to Malawi. All you would need to do is address the package to:

 

ABC (Africa Bible Colleges)

5343 Clinton Blvd. Jackson, MS 39209

…and then just put somewhere on the box: Danielle Jenson Academy Fourth Grade

           

 

God calls each of us to care for orphans and widows. James 1:27 solidifies this purpose,

          “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans
            and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”Helping these children is a ministry that is pure and righteous. Showing them love in the smallest of ways makes a huge impact. Pray and see what God is leading you to do and more importantly, pray for these kids- that their hearts will continue to be open and sensitive to Him.

Thank you for all of you who are reading these stories and praying for me. I am so grateful for the wonderful partnership I have with all of you in America. I am only an extension of the hearts, prayers, and love of people back home.

The Only Thing that Counts

I know it has been a very long time since I have written. It’s not that I haven’t thought about it or wanted to write, but more the difficulty of forming my thoughts, interactions, and experiences into written words.




My life here in Malawi has fallen into a routine of sorts. Experiences that were once foreign seem natural and normal. Driving on the opposite side of the road, seeing women carrying buckets atop their heads, and buying a dead chicken, bananas, and phone minutes in the same transaction on the road side are not unusual. I never could have imagined the turns this year would take and the unbelievable things I would encounter. Malawi has such beauty and yet, at the same time, so much darkness and poverty. Why does this poverty exist? How can there be money wasted while children are scrounging for food in trash cans?

Since I last wrote, I had the privilege of traveling to South Africa on a 38 hour bus ride and spending time in the beautiful city of Cape Town. While there, I was able to go to places like movie theaters, delicious restaurants, beaches, wineries, malls, coffee houses, etc. It was so relaxing and enjoyable! Although I loved my vacation in South Africa, returning to Malawi was a reality check and caused me to reevaluate myself. What investment am I truly making in Malawi? Am I just here to hang out for a year, take some pictures with African kids, bargain in the market, and call it good?



I have realized that I want to make an impact here in Malawi. I want to be intentional about helping those in need. The future of Malawi lies with the kids like my students at ABC and Children of the Nations. In order to truly leave something behind, I have to invest my time, money, and resources into these kids. A few weeks ago I was at the market when a little girl named Mary approached me asking for money. This is not an uncommon sight, but something about her struck me differently. I bought her a meal and, with the language barrier, attempted to ask about her life. Her mother and three siblings beg for money. She has no father and lives in a nearby village.

 

Mary then lead me to where her mother sat, in front of a bank, hand outstretched, begging. Lisa (her mother) was almost smaller than eight year old Mary. She held a baby in her sickly arms and smiled up at me. Something about this family stuck with me.  The verse that comes to mind is Galatians 5:6 “The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.” In life, what truly matters is loving others. All I can really leave behind here is Christ’s love. Nothing else I give will ever be enough without that love.





All this to say, I think that I am called to express my faith through expending my energy and devoting my time to helping people. I only have four months left here! After everything I have seen, I don’t feel like one year is enough. Thus, I have made the decision to return next year!

I appreciate and need your prayers and support. There is no possible way I could be here without all of the people back home. I will try and update more often and share more stories and lessons I am learning here. Each day I am reminded how much I need Christ.  I am growing so much in my faith and learning to look beyond the comfortable. Thank you to all of you who are sharing this adventure with me!